I have a confession to make…a book nerd confession that I’m sure others can relate to in some way so I’m hoping this is a safe space to confess this.
I am afraid to finish the Throne of Glass series.
I have read the first six (I’m including the prequel book) and I am scared to finish the last two books.
You may be wondering why I feel this way, but first you need a little history between me and this book series.
I started this book series in 2014. I had just packed up my entire life with my husband and moved to a different state. I was struggling to find a job (I think I had finally settled into retail at this point) and just wasn’t happy in general. This move has taken YEARS to adjust to, if I’m being honest, but it was particularly hard when I was poor, working a crappy job, and only knew my husband (and we literally didn’t have enough money to do anything but sit at home).
At this point in my life I needed an escape: enter the brain of Sarah J Maas.
I picked up the first Throne of Glass book on a whim. It sounded like something that would help me take a temporary break from the sadness of my current situation, and it did just that. I fell in love with the first book and immediately jumped to the second one. I was lucky enough to start this series right before book 3 came out, so within that first year of living in this new place I had devoured the first three books and was hooked. This book series gave me an escape, it gave me something to be excited about, it honestly helped me to start caring about things again.
Throughout the years I have still read these books and supported the author. I have read other books by her and have been a constant fan, but now…we’re coming to the end. And I am terrified.
So, you might be asking yourself why. Why is someone who has been through all of this with her books suddenly be scared to finish this series?
Well, first off, there seems to be a lot of drama surrounding her books. I know people have brought up some problematic things about the series which I have seen and can acknowledge, but I’m also the type that needs to read it so that they can see exactly what it is. I have also seen many people bringing others down for reading this book series, and that in itself kind of scares me. In general, people either love or hate this series and I seem to be easily influenced by others sometimes. I really just need to not let it get to me. I do want to know how it ends.
Secondly, there’s the ending. WHAT KIND OF ENDING WILL THERE BE!? Will it be happy or sad? Will everyone I love die a horrible and tragic death, or will the frolic through the meadow off into the sunset? I personally don’t know what kind of ending I want or even need from this series. After all the emotions it has given me over the years I wouldn’t be shocked if they all died in the end, but I don’t think that’s what I want. And honestly, series enders can make or break it all. I like the Hunger Games series a little less because I absolutely HATED the ending to it. Just hated it. I enjoyed Divergent and then THAT ENDING (that I told myself I liked initially but I really don’t think I did). How will this book end????
Third, WHAT DO I HAVE ONCE IT’S OVER? I have been a part of this series for a very long time. What do I do with my life when I no longer have a Throne of Glass book to look forward to? How will I cope with what happens to my favorites if I don’t have the promise of another book? What do I do with my life when this is no longer a part of it?
And lastly, and probably the most realistic of all of my fears, is the fear that the book will let me down. This isn’t just because of the ending, but mostly because of fear of the author jamming all kinds of things in at the last minute. Too many times I have finished a series where, during the last book, they just jam all kinds of craziness in there, some of which does not even seem to matter to the plot in general. I’m not about throwing in last minute relationships, last minute details that don’t pertain to the plot, etc. Sometimes it’s like an author gets to the end and tries to change what the series is. I don’t know the best way to explain this really. I think it’s obvious that as the series goes on the author’s writing experience changes. I totally get that. But sometimes I feel like they don’t always stick to what the the core of the story is. I don’t know. Stories evolve, I get it. But those last minute details that don’t really move the plot along they come across as a way to fill a hole. I’m definitely scared that this book won’t live up to what I remembered and loved from book 1 to present. That is probably my biggest fear.
Yes, I will read Kingdom of Ash. I hope that I can read it soon, but man…I have some fear.
Can you relate to this struggle? Are there book series that you haven’t finished because you are scared to do so?