Hey all! Long time no talk.
Yep, I know. I’ve been pretty silent on here. And honestly, that’s why I’m about to issue an apology to each and every one of you, but probably to myself as well.
I’m sorry this blog hasn’t been as active as I had wanted it to be. I have gone down a spiral of craziness in the past couple of months. I’ve had some personal stuff going on that I don’t really want to go into for all the world to read, but with all of that my motivation to do this just lessened. I’ve been in a not so good place this year. The year that I had wanted it to be, the year that I try new things and let go a lot easier…yea, hasn’t been happening. I’ve let myself get buried under my own emotions, stress, and feelings of general helplessness and have found that I haven’t really enjoyed anything. I can’t say I’ve tried to enjoy anything either, so that’s very much on me.
The truth is, this blog has always been an outlet for me. I avoided it because I didn’t want to drag it down with my own personal issues, so instead I have been letting it sit because I “haven’t had time.” I’m sorry, but that’s been bullshit. I’ve been in my own pity party for months and I am so sick of it. I’m so tired of feeling this whole “woe is me” thing. I definitely suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, and this never-ending winter we seem to have going on here doesn’t seem to be helping (just spent the last 3 days digging myself out post blizzard and I bet I will have to pick up the shovel again tomorrow at some point). I have been the worst at letting it get to me and I am so tired of it.
But the thing is, I’m not sure what to do to stop it. I’ve let myself get so into this downward spiral that I can’t seem to pull myself out. So, little by little I am trying. Here’s what I have done so far…
- I continue to workout 3-5 times a week. Endorphins are good right?
- I signed up for a half marathon in August. I may be trudging through it the way winter seems to be going, but I did it. Training will keep me moving and it’s a goal to meet. And you best believe I am going to meet it.
- I applied for a job that terrified me. Well, the application terrified me. I worked my butt off and put myself out there to get references and honestly, it was terrifying. Unfortunately I got that fabulous rejection I was expecting, but I’m trying not to let that get me down and to help me move forward.
- I’m making plans with my husband. Not just saying that we should do something, but actually making plans. A lot of our plans have fallen through due to money, timing, etc…but these should hold up. I hope. Because I definitely need this.
- I’m working on getting myself on here more. This apology is just one step. I’m hoping that I can come at you with more on this blog. I have things I want to blog about, I just haven’t sat myself down to actually do it. That’s gotta change.
- I’m journaling. This terrifies me because I feel like there’s a right and wrong way to journal, but the more I looked into it (because that’s how I am) I realized how stupid that was. A journal is so personal to you and there’s no template. It’s for you. For your growth. So I found some prompts to help me get my wheels turning, and it’s been so helpful. I found one that is supposed to help with stress relief and oh my gosh, each day the prompts have made me laugh (like the one day I felt like my entire life was falling apart and the prompt was to write what was going well in your life. Hilarious. I cried while laughing).
I am taking this one step at a time, one day at a time. But I know I can be better. I know I can do better. And I’m sorry I’ve been so silent on here. Please know I take this apology oh so seriously, and really do plan to kick it into gear. I miss this. I really really do.
So now, I have to know….what do you do to get yourself out of a slump like this? Activites? Mantras? Helpful books? In the land where winter doesn’t seem to want to end and the sun refuses to shine I find I am definitely in need of some tips.
Thanks for bearing with me through this all. I promise I’ll be coming back. I will.
midwesternbooknerd.wordpress.com 
It sounds like you’ve been having a really rough time of it, but I’m so impressed and encouraged to see you working through the hard stuff! (The half marathon alone scares me to death, but I will happily be that person waiting at the finish line . . . most likely with a Slurpee/milkshake straw in my mouth. ^^) I’ve been working on job applications too, and you’re 100% right; they’re scary. (I had to shift to a kind of shameless “ask everyone you know/meet/see on the street if they have openings/connections” mindset.)
When I’m feeling slumpy and generally unmotivated, even though it’s the opposite of what I feel like doing, I make myself go out among people. I make plans with people/organizations (so I’ll feel obligated to go), pay for things in advance (because I’m too cheap to back out last minute and waste the money), and just generally set up accountability nets that will keep me moving and doing something, however little. I also recommend sports/games where you get to whack something.
Hang in there, Emily! Obviously glad to see you back on the blog–and will happily email/DM you if you need encouragement/accountability to keep posting 😉 –but do whatever you need to do for you. 🙂
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Thank you for your kind words. It’s been just ridiculous lately and I am super feeling it. Thanks for all the advice for things to do. I’m trying (though lately I have to dig my way out of the house in order to do anything lately…) but not super easy it seems. I definitely need to find some new hobbies to take up. Weight lifting has been super helpful (though I haven’t been there I’m days because my entire body hurts from shoveling) but definitely should find some other things.
Again, thanks!
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Do one small thing a day that makes you happy and take a moment to recognize the one special thing – bubble bath, leaving ten minutes early, wearing your favorite shirt, playing a song on repeat ten times, eating a piece of chocolate, a long nap, whatever. Take time to give gratitude to blessings in your life and keep trying new things, making plans, and loving. Good is coming your way. Xoxo
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Thanks so much Keira. I really do need to try to make time for those things more often. I am constantly feeling like I am busy and maybe that’s part of the issue? I definitely need to take time for me. Thanks for your kind words.
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I grew up on the concept that we are all capable of more than we do, especially when we lean on God. It totally helps me to remember that when I’m feeling overwhelmed, too busy, or drained by all the things I’m doing. That’s when I stop and just give gratitude that I can do all these things and more besides. Finding that nugget of gratefulness leads to a lot of goodness. I hope it will for you and that you’ll come out of this stronger and happier.
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It sounds like you’ve got a great thing going on. I think exercise and good music really help me get out of a slump. Also, spending time with friends.
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I hope to get back to exercise I actually like soon (I have been shoveling for 4 days now. Literally. 4 days). I definitely need to be making plans more often and trying to get out with friends. I definitely need to stop retreating into myself and get out there. Thanks for your input. It’s definitely helpful!
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