This is something I have started doing randomly on my blog, finding quotes that kind of hit me and sharing because I think someone else may need it it. More information and past posts can be found here.
I have found myself feeling pretty meh lately. I have actually had good news job-wise, and have some employment throughout the summer (which I am so grateful for). Even with all these good things I am really struggling with trying to figure out just where it is I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do. I have lately started even feeling a little under-valued, not worth it, etc. I work hard, with little to show for it. I have found myself having a hard time just relaxing like I so need to, and I really have found that my self-esteem has fallen a bit. This just seems so ridiculous though because I know I have SOMETHING good going on right?
I think it comes down to me being scared of what’s to come. It comes down to me being fearful of crashing and burning, because I really have had very little success as far as employment and such has gone since moving away from home. Seems silly though, right? Because without taking risks, without taking that jump, I am really not going to get anywhere am I? This last experience has rocked me. It has taken that fear of rejection that I have and multiplied it by a trillion. And yet, I am returning since they decided to take me back. I am excited. I am excited to have one more year of consistency, to have the opportunity to help. BUT I am also scared, because I know that I will be in the position of not knowing again.
So instead of looking at the bad stuff, I am looking at the good (well, trying to). I am looking at the fantastic experience that I know I am going to get. I am looking at the ways that I will be tested and grow. I am going to get the best out of this experience.
I know that I can’t be the only one struggling with these feelings. I can’t be the only one feeling like they aren’t really valued in where they are at and taking it a little more personally than necessary. We just have to remember…there is a reason we are here. There is a reason, and we are growing because of it. We are becoming better people. We are becoming stronger people. We just need to put on our brave face.