Lately I have been taking a lot of time to reflect. These reflections are taking to where I have been, where I am going, and what I am doing right now. Right now is a bit of a stressful time as so many things are changing, but all for good reason. Please excuse my bit of rambling today.
Two years ago this month my life was definitely thrown for a loop. I packed up everything I owned, I quit a few jobs that I loved, and I moved 5 hours away from my hometown with my husband. I cried the entire drive and honestly don’t remember a thing from the audiobook I was listening to. I was terrified, I was crushed, and I was not ready to face a new state. But the job my husband got was a good one, and I could be flexible because it was finally time for us to actually live together instead of him traveling constantly. I sucked it up for that reason alone.
Two years…it has been two years of constant ups and downs. Financial issues, crappy jobs, constant feelings of homesickness, and feeling completely and totally alone. I honestly can’t even begin to describe to you how hard this has all been. And I constantly felt that when things were FINALLY looking up then something else would destroy us (cars man…they have been the worst over here). The first year was the absolute worst, and when it came time to decide if we should renew our lease or not I was all for getting the heck out of here and going back home. It was a safety blanket. I wanted to be home so bad. I wanted to see my friends. I wanted to go to my mom’s house and eat dinner and hang out. I wanted to be where everyone knew each other and there was always a friendly face. Sadly, I lost that battle and we found a new apartment. Lucky for us this is where things started to look up. New jobs for one of use started coming in. We started making connections with friends. We started feeling like we could call this place home. I think we are totally comfortable with where we are at. After two years I think I can FINALLY say that things are looking up.
You may be wondering what has caused my reflections as of late. Well, the job that caused the initial move here…it’s not longer a thing in our lives. Life happens, and sometimes things that have been so good go so wrong, but no matter the reason a new job has been found. This job will probably tie us down to this area for a bit longer. And the weirdest thing…I am ok with it.
If you had asked me a year ago what I wanted more than anything I would have said, without a second thought, that I wanted to move back. I would have said that I wanted to be near my family and friends and to live back where all is familiar. Today, I am honestly happy. It blows my mind, but I am happy. I have a job I love. I live in a really awesome apartment that we are continuing to settle into more and more. I live in a pretty cool part of the city, not too far from the lake and downtown. My husband just got a new job that should make him happier. Things are looking up. Things are looking good. Now, this doesn’t mean we wont have any struggles coming up. But I think I am so much more prepared for these struggles. I am ready to face them, even if they cause me to cry a bit. Because I got through some of the hardest moments of my life in the last two years in one piece. And I came out on the other side with a smile on my face.
It’s crazy, but moving away from my home has been one of the best things I have done. I think it’s been good for everyone all around. I still get massively homesick. I still wish that I lived near my family and friends. But I am also really happy here, and I gotta keep that up.
I think that concludes my ramblings. I think I just had to say it all because I know people go through a lot of crap. But if you keep on keeping on and get back up when life knocks you down you can find yourself feeling even better than before. You can find a place where you are happy and where you have grown to become and even better person than you were. Life sucks sometimes. It knocks you down and can keep kicking you, but it’s always worth the fight. I am happy I stuck with it and didn’t quit and move back home. I am so happy with who I have become and I know that these past few years have been a HUGE part in that.